….but you can’t take the tropics outta the girl!
Although I was born and raised in Orlando, FL for the first 24 years of my life, I haven’t lived there for the last 5 years. (which is NOT for lack of trying to go home! Stupid economy!) When people ask me where I’m from, I’m still programmed to say Florida. When people hear me complain that its too cold… my answer is that I’m 100% Florida girl and just DO NOT do COLD. But someone challenged me recently. *AHEM!* (Thanks, Jeff!)
“You haven’t lived in Florida for 5 years now! I think you can stop claiming that.”
WHAT?!?! Someone questions my 100% Florida sunshine BLOODLINE?!? The NERVE! ha!
Well, last night, I proved exactly WHY I do NOT belong in the cold.
Its was a blustery 9 degrees in Huntsville last night as I entered Roller Derby practice. I parked, and since the parking is a bit of an incline, I didn’t even think much when I pulled the parking brake up and ran inside. Practice is about 2 hours long, so by the time I got out shortly after 10pm, the cold had really set in.
I quickly ran in my derby mini, tights, and knee socks to the car ready to get moving and get the heat crankin’ in the car. When I went to start the car and let down the ebrake, I knew I had a problem. The handle fell limply to the console, but the tension didn’t release.
OH CRAP.
Duh Erica! You’re not supposed to set the parking brake in the cold weather! It’s halfway frozen before on me, but never 40+ miles from home and at 10pm at night, in the ghetto, by myself, and in a MINI SKIRT. SAAA-WEET!
So, I try letting the car warm up. 20 minutes, no luck. I back up and go forward trying to rock it free. Nope, no dice. I yank on the handle and try to wiggle the cable loose. Try again, dummy! 40 minutes later, and the parking lot at the rink is now empty and very menacing feeling. I made some phone calls to see if anyone else had any ideas (Sorry Dennis and Dan at almost midnight your time!) Still nothing.
So, we’ve collectedly determined that the thing is probably frozen stuck where it goes under the driveshaft tunnel. “Can you crawl under the car and see if you can reach it?” Umm, Hi. Mini-skirt. 9 degree weather. Ummm lemmeee think about it…. NO! Plus, where we think its stuck would’ve been out of reach anyways without jacking the car up.
So, after a few more futile minutes of jerking around with the parking brake handle, back up and going forward, and even a few quick sideways launches trying ANYTHING to jar the damn cable, I realize that I’m going to have to limp this thing out of the ghetto and the 40 miles home at the expense of my rear rotors and brakes. Yea, smoking red rear calipers are wonderful fun! It finally let loose about 20 miles down the road…. I ended up getting home well after midnight. I haven’t even attempted to look at the rotors to see how bad they are.
And I don’t even live in that icy, crappy stuff you people call SNOW!
Hey! Don’t judge…. Years of making SANDMEN for Christmas doesn’t exactly prepare you for the winter virtues.
